I mean, technically, I do have a father, else how do you think I got conceived. The only difference is, I wasn't born out of love and that 'father' just wasn't present from day 1. I thank God, always, for Mom who decided to pull me and my sister out of that situation and try to create a better life out of nothing.

Then came a man whom my Mom decided to marry and eventually became my stepdad. I did call him 'dad' and loved him for a while ..until he went bonkers and just lost all the respect and love I had for him. It was almost like - one man's decision resulted in a negative snowball effect.

My teenage years weren't the rosiest nor the most difficult, but isn't that what adolescence is all about? Except, I guess, maybe some of the struggles I experienced were actually something a teenager shouldn't go through.

Looking back, maybe a lot of things would end up different if my Mom had a husband to lean on and if I had a father to look up to and trust. 

I get a lot of people telling me that "oh, God is going to be your everlasting Father" and stuff like that. Yes, easy for them to say ..but when you need that figure and that presence, and no one's there. It's just so much easier to go "where's God now?".

I'm not going to conclude this post as it's still an open sore to me.


Love, Peace & (empty)
MICHTASHIA