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My name is Michtashia Micheng Bumbumpaw. Full-time couch potato. I love milk, dinosaurs and chilling out. I don't like blocked noses and spicy food. I speak English, Bahasa Indonesia and Mandarin plus a little Korean. I sing in the shower occasionally and I pick my wedgie in public.

Drop me an email!
michtashia@msn.com


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  • Wednesday, August 19, 2015 @ August 19, 2015
    dprssn

    It's been one week since the start of my employment and I have to add on how more and more awed I get with every passing day.

    "If you think you don't deserve the bad things in your life, know that you don't deserve the good things either. #BeGrateful"

    I am aware that I'm probably in the 98th percentile of complainers, and of all people, I should be the last person to remind others to be grateful.

    I'm saying this because I have found the power in gratefulness. Once you're grateful, God would work in your life that would make you EVEN MORE grateful. It doesn't really make sense but that's how it works.

    It is so easy to complain that the train is crowded, the train is slow, the train is hot ..but how often do you actually thank God that the train exists and you can actually board it? 

    ---

    I know that I'm currently in a place where it's easy for me to be joyful ..but it wasn't always like this (I was suicidal in 2011). And just recently, due to the many negative happenings in end 2014 and early 2015, my emotions were unstable and I was just so angry. I cooped myself up at home and all I wanted to do was to sleep. I just didn't want to meet people. Heck, I even applied to work in the zoo because I thought at least the animals would not attack me emotionally. I was in that low place.

    It took me a long time before I could snap out of all of that, because ..

    The thing about being down is that the only place you can go is up.

    It's really easy to tell people what to do and what to think. I think I've annoyed MANY people for whining and not acting on anything to make myself better. Ultimately, I guess, the best advice still comes from the Bible. In the Psalm of David, he said

    Cast you cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. (Psalm 55:22)

    And in the New Testament, Peter reminded us again to

    Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

    Receiving advises when you're emotionally exhausted is actually quite funny. Because you want to feel better but it's just so exhausting to try to pull yourself back up. And then you have this "bank" of advises at the back of your head (the ones people give you, the ones from the Bible and the ones YOU GAVE OTHERS). It's almost like you KNOW how to feel better but you're just not strong enough. Then people say that you're lazy. After going through that rollercoaster, there's probably only 2 places you can go - one, decide to snap out of it and choose to be grateful and joyful; or two, fall even deeper and then do something harmful to your mental and physical health.

    ---

    I took like 3 days to get this post of out my draft folder. I don't know who would read this but I'm aware that a few of my friends/acquaintance has fallen victim to depression. As much as I would want to help them, I know that I won't be able to help at all, but there is someone who is much greater than I who is more than able to fix it all. 

    If you are one of those people who end up in the second category and you think you've exhausted all your energy and you want me to pray for you - you can drop me an email and I could pray with/for you. 


    Love, Peace, Joy & Gratefulness
    MICHTASHIA