profile My name is Michtashia Micheng Bumbumpaw. Full-time couch potato. I love milk, dinosaurs and chilling out. I don't like blocked noses and spicy food. I speak English, Bahasa Indonesia and Mandarin plus a little Korean. I sing in the shower occasionally and I pick my wedgie in public. Drop me an email! michtashia@msn.com Pages Previous Page | Next Page affiliates 
|
Wednesday, September 25, 2013 @ September 25, 2013
Stories.  God's timing is impeccable.Before I start, I'll have to really tell you (who's reading this) that I have an awe-mazing God. I'm glad I got past that stage where I would cave to your logical and scientific explanation of how God doesn't exist and I'm just being deluded and stupefied. You know what, go preach on that logic and scientific stuff to the atheists or at least put it to good use to find ways to stop global warming or cure cancer because you're not winning me over to your side and I will tell you that God is real, Jesus is real, and really, you should get to know Him. [This would be a really long and wordy post.] --- I felt really lousy when I couldn't answer Kasey. She was telling me of how she couldn't understand why churches are raising millions of dollars to build grand churches in excessiveness (i.e state of the art auditorium with amazing technology, multimedia, lighting, sound, etc) when they could've used the money to build a decent church with a fraction of that and bring the rest to the third world countries. And why do people give money to the church in the first place. And about hating on gays - isn't Christianity about love? Isn't Christianity about forgiveness and acceptance? You see, I couldn't explain in a way that she would understand. In other words, I couldn't rephrase the things I knew to cater to her understanding. No, I am not belittling her - it's just not 'logical' to speak about Hebrews 10:25 and the alabaster jar to someone who do not read the Bible (plus at that time I was at a total loss and wasn't really thinking of Hebrews and Matthew). And I was pretty sure she wanted a logical answer and not a biblical answer. By the way, Kasey, if you're reading this, I'm not targeting you or speaking ill of you. I am just reflecting on my "evangelical skills" and my understanding of the Bible. What really knocked me out and made me feel totally depressed was when I confided to someone I really trusted (because I wanted to know how to deal with such questions) and he indirectly told me that I didn't understand. I mean, hold up, I lived and breathed church for 2 years and then in a way I failed. Now, that was really upsetting. I really didn't want to point fingers but if you knew, why didn't you direct me in a literal manner. OHWELL. I was brutally beat up on the inside. This entire day was just gloomy plus it just had to rain (how timely). I broke down and I just felt really awful because it meant the 2 years I thought was everything was actually nothing. Like I totally wasted 2 years and nobody told me anything. I felt hurt. Let down. Betrayed. So somehow, I slept through most of my afternoon and I woke up still feeling lousy but somehow I just decided to tune in to Elevation Network and watch whatever sermon that was streaming at that hour. It just so happens that "Storytellers: Keep Your Head Up" was just starting its stream. Now, that sermon is one of their older sermon and whoa did God use this sermon to speak to me (plus Mom had to stay back late at work so I could have some private moment with God). Pastor Furtick preached on Psalm 3 and the story of how David's own son betrayed him. I mean, I know what I experienced and went through wasn't some extreme betrayal but I really felt let down and betrayal was along the line of it. God is the Glory and lifter of my headAgain, why am I allowing myself to wallow around this cesspool of defeat and depression when God has stretched out His hands to me. I have to repeat, God's timing is impeccable. It's amazing how He works in my life. And there's only one question that anyone should ask, really, "where would I be without Him?". I'm pretty sure whatever that person said is a stepping stone for me to climb and realize that I have a lot more to study and absorb (applying a positive mindset here). Maybe he doesn't really know my progress because he's not tried to even converse with me to know what's on my mind. And to be honest, I was hurt mostly because I expected him to comfort me. Nothing ever turn out good when you expect. Like God is using this situation to tell me which way to go and what I should focus on. I really have to thank Kasey for giving me a taste of what's in store when I actually go out "fishing". Also thank Phanot for being an amazing sister that I can always talk to and share whatever that is on my mind and Yuyu for always giving me all these "mature" (aka motherly) advices and answers whenever I whine to her. And of course, how can I leave this out - Thank God for His impeccable timing. ps. Kasey and I chillaxed by the pool yesterday and we ate pizzzzza (favorite food) pps. I made Crystal laugh all day yesterday and she told me to be a comedian but I randomly blurted that I'm gonnabe a .....nevermind. ppps. I'm so excited to go for Hillsong Conference 2014 in Sydney with Phanot omgomg pppps. I'm really blessed. So mega blessed. Really. Love, Peace & God is the Glory and lifter of my head MICHTASHIA |