profile My name is Michtashia Micheng Bumbumpaw. Full-time couch potato. I love milk, dinosaurs and chilling out. I don't like blocked noses and spicy food. I speak English, Bahasa Indonesia and Mandarin plus a little Korean. I sing in the shower occasionally and I pick my wedgie in public. Drop me an email! michtashia@msn.com Pages Previous Page | Next Page affiliates 
|
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 @ November 14, 2007
bitechewswallow After 16 years, I still don't know me or sometimes, I just don't understand myself enough. But it's all good. I'm picking up, I'm slowly getting to know me better, I hope. These days, I realise that I'm a coward. Not in the sense that I'm afraid of things like death, accidents or just something like reprimands. I'm actually afraid of things yet unseen. Like, alot of my close friends know that I'm going farther and farther away from God that sometimes, I just don't see Him around and don't believe in Him. After all those emails that I received and my mom who just started listening to Gospel songs again, I think I'm starting to think and believe differently. Like, after all, all those times in Sunday School had to somehow take effect as well. I know how I should act as a Christian. This makes me go all shaky and scared.. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father." Reading this, probably the fool will think, whateverr. But it's really important to me. I've been a Christian all my life, and I believe I had moral and values. All I did was being someone I shouldn't be, not wanting to actually be a Christian, ignoring my beliefs, throwing away those morals and values I had and worse of all, denied that Jesus was the Lord of my life. Its been topsy-turvy for me for the past 3 years, especially during the time where my family was slowly breaking down. I was just thinking to myself, why did God make me go through all these when all I did was to not attend church as regularly as I did before. Well, I really don't know how to end this post. The last thing I wanna say is that, I don't think I'm ready to go back although I'm ready to leave. On a lighter note, I've registered myself to take my SAT. Its gonna be in June and I'll be taking three subjects. Literature, Mathematics Level 1 and Biology E/M. I'm all prepared for Literature but not the other two, well, I still got a good 7 months to prepare so its all good. And also I'm gonna be taking another SAT paper in December 2008. Will be taking Chinese which is for sure and two others which I'm guessing will be Mathematics Level 2 and Physics. Probably just Math 2. Cause I'm registering to Business school. I'm not gonna be taking Medicine for sure [which is really depressing]. But mommy might check for me to get into Medicine school in Indonesia which will be cheaper and easier to get in, so its all good as well :) shapes |